I always cringe when people ask children “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

As if you must pick one career and stick with it - even when you start to hate it.

I was a professional actor / musician for a decade before I felt my calling shift because I indeed began to hate it. I trusted myself and came to peace with closing that chapter in my life. I took with me the confidence of public speaking, being the managing director of an acting school, and know-how of being an independent contractor.

I shed that skin and moved on toward my next fascination as consumer banker. For five years, I enjoyed helping people get out of debt, rebuild credit, start saving, and be better with their money. I discovered I loved helping people and I wanted to go further into that direction.

Once again, I shifted to becoming a registered nurse and nurse leader. For the past thirteen years, I’ve been serving patients and leading teams to improve safety and quality.  Solving clinical problems is a blast and I enjoy engaging others in the process.  I get to use both sides of my brain and have fun in the process.  One of my favorite aspects of being a nurse leader is developing caregivers. There were seeds I planted in people who have now grown into fulfilling careers in healthcare.

Career aside, my life path is far from traditional. The one thing I always wanted to be was a dad. Being a gay man, I didn’t see how that was going to happen. My dream eventually came true, I married a man who wanted the same. We started the adoption and then our marriage fell apart and I adopted my son as a single dad.

All of my relationships, including my marriage, fell apart because of me. I can say that because I had to hit rock bottom. I lost nearly all of my relationships before I could come to the important realization that just maybe the problem was me. I discovered I struggled with codependency. I was addicted to control, judgment, perfectionism, and caretaking. In my recovery, I found a way out and learned to prioritize joy, self-care, healthy boundaries, and to speak my truth.

Now, I’m shifting again to bring everything I love and enjoy from my career and life paths into a new caring profession as a Whole Person Certified Coach.

At Fellow Traveler Coaching, I change the original question of “What do you want to be when you grow up?” to “Who do you want to BE when you grow up?”

I help people who…

• Feel their current career no longer fits them and are ready to make a change. It’s scary, I know. I’ve done it four times, so I’m an expert. I can help you too!

• Feel like they’re “bad” with money. I’ve been there, but I paid off all my debts and have the peace and freedom that comes with living within my means. Are you ready to learn about zero-based budgeting, rebuild credit, break the cycle of paycheck-to-paycheck living and feel prepared and secure for the unexpected.

• Clinical leaders who are overwhelmed by competing priorities and clinical problems to solve. Your work is spilling into your personal life. You’re constantly stressed and tired. One of my proudest clinical achievements was solving medication errors for thousands of clinicians by a simple change in process. It didn’t cost a penny. I engaged my team to refine the new process, teach others, and measure compliance across hundreds of outpatient clinics. It was fun and deeply satisfying. I can help you reignite your fire for healthcare. Your patients and your team need you!

• Struggle with codependency. You’re tired of toxic and broken relationships. You’re ready to stop focusing on everyone else, find your voice, and start living life with joy and purpose.

• Have a dream and a bunch of false excuses why they can’t have it such as…

  • I’m a single parent

  • I’m gay

  • I’m too old to change careers or go back to school

  • I don’t have enough money or resources

  • I don’t know how

  • I don’t have enough time

  • My family and friends will think I’m crazy

  • I’m afraid

That list is my own, but here you are today at Fellow Traveler Coaching - my dream come true as a single, gay dad after four career changes and the same fears and doubts as you.

You have one life to live and deserve the joy of realizing your dreams. You have everything you need and myself as your willing guide. Hoist your anchor and let’s set sail, fellow traveler.